When we think about the birth of Christ or read the story of Christmas, we tend to focus on a number of specific happenings and people.

The angel appearing to a virgin, Mary visiting her cousin Elizabeth pregnant in her old age, Joseph silently thinking of putting Mary away, the angel speaking to Joseph, their marriage and trip to Bethlehem, the appearance of a star, the wise men bearing gifts, the shepherds being visited by the angels, flight to Egypt etc. Generally the attention in Christmas plays is whittled down to the birth, the manger, the star, the shepherds and the kings. All these do play a major part in the birth of the Savior, but often one person gets lost in the milieu of events and folks. That person, a very important and crucial person in the life of Jesus, is Joseph, the faithful and unassuming carpenter, who became father to the Son of God when He came in the flesh!

Apart from the Catholic Church conferring sainthood and celebrating a feast each year (Mar 19th) in his honor, the christian world, in general, tends to ignore or sideline Joseph, and forget the part he played in the birth and life of Christ.

The Bible talks about Joseph wanting to quietly divorce Mary when she is found to be pregnant during the engagement period, betrothal being akin to marriage in Israel at that time. Pregnancy indicate infidelity and illicit relationship with another, and so, Joseph decides to put her away quietly rather than make her a public spectacle. However, God sends His angel to make him aware of the virgin conception, urging him to accept her as his wife. Joseph proceeds to do so and refrains from consummating the marriage or having intimate communion with her until after the birth.

Not only so, he adopts the Child as his own, giving Him his name, providing for Him, raising Him as his own and doing good by Him all the days of his life, until his death, which was probably when Jesus was in His teens. He fulfilled the role of a father, teaching Jesus his trade (carpentry) and gave Him the status of being his firstborn, again an important aspect in Israel. He fulfilled all his duties as a father and raised Him to know the scriptures as any Jewish man would, obviously never discriminating Him, and thus we see his townsfolk calling Him son of Joseph.

Neither does he bear any grudge or ill-will against Mary, but treats her as his wife, giving her honor and respect due to that position and role. Herein lies his greatness, his uniqueness, for which we need to admire him and emulate his example, taking lessons from his humility.

Joseph stands as an example and a model of how a man (or anyone) should consider and treat his wife (or spouse/family member) who has a call and an assignment from God. He shows us how to respond in faith, even when you don’t understand what is happening but trusting God and His call as a spouse to a woman with a mission from God.

Here are a few things that we can learn from him. In relation to his spouse’s assignment, he:

1. UNDERSTANDS & ACCEPTS HER CALL Joseph is unique in that he receives the fact that God has spoken to her and not to him, especially in an age and culture when women were considered second class citizens of society and home. Once the angel reveals to him the truth of her condition, he unreservedly moves forward to make her his wife. Many a man today fails to acknowledge or accept the call God has given his wife.or that even understand that his wife is hearing from God. Many a woman fails to be like Mary, ready to be the handmaiden of the Lord, for there aren’t many men who welcome or encourage to.follow the Lord wholeheartedly. They box women within societal constraints and restrict their commitment to the Lord. Women fear to yes to God scared of the price they have to pay for such a commitment.

2. ENDOWS HER WITH THE COVERING & AUTHORITY OF HIS NAME: That Joseph did not ostracize or ill-treat his wife nor treat Jesus in any way other than as a son is obvious from the way the people of the place they lived in mention Jesus as the son of Joseph the carpenter. Such an outstanding character to emulate, to accept her fully as his wife and Jesus as his own flesh and blood. Joseph in effect totally and fully adopts Jesus as his own and considers him the firstborn, conferring the Son of God with the title of Son of Man. Joseph is a true man, husband and father, and an outstanding example to follow and learn from.

3. RECOGNISES HIS CALL WITHIN HERS: Joseph understood that not just Mary, but he himself had been chosen by God for the special task of birthing and raising the Son of God. Many a woman has let go of her assignment from God or been restricted in it because of the lack in her husband. His failure to grasp her role will not only limit her, but will make him also not rise to the occasion, which will cause him not to reach his full potential. He fails to grasp that when his spouse moves forward, he does too. Joseph was unique because he lived in a time and culture where women were considered secondhand citizens, not given freedom or rights the way men were. He lived in period of history when women were not thought of as being equal to men. It is Jesus who brought emancipation and recognition to women, and  well exhibits the nature and demeanor of one who is worthy to be called the father of the Son of God.

4. REFRAINS FROM INSISTING ON HER FULFILLING HIS NEEDS: Joseph is so mindful of his role and call in the birthing of the hope of Israel that he puts aside his needs and sacrifices his pleasures for the fulfillment of the plan of God for the whole nation and the world! Most men may acknowledge the call or task for their wife but will hardly put aside his own needs for the sake of the work that is to be done by their spouse. Rare is the man who would give up satisfying his needs songs to help his wife fulfill hers. Result is that few women truly rise up to their real call in life or even consider obeying the Lord, for they are too tired or don’t even have energy enough to do their role after expending it on their spouse and family! Joseph is such a gem of a man who must have waited atleast a year or so before consummating his marriage. What a legacy and pedigree for the Son of God Who came to give His life as a ransom for His bride the Church and is patiently seated on the right hand of the Father waiting for her to become mature enough to be with Him!

5. SUPPORTS AND HELPS HER FULFILL HER TASK: Joseph plays fully the role of a husband to a pregnant wife, without ever impregnating her, bearing all the duties such a task entitles with no sign of murmuring or grumbling. He is not the cause of the conception yet willingly pays all the price of a man expecting a son, inspite of the fact that the child is not his own. All the idiosyncrasies that a women exhibits during a pregnancy he has to tolerate, besides having to travel a long distance by foot with a full-time wife. Reaching the place, helping her with the birth, then having to flee to an unknown place for saving the child’s life, then returning to setup life in their hometown, raising the child, so much Joseph did to help Mary. No man has ever done so much for a woman with an assignment from God and with no applause for all that he quietly did without any fanfare!

Joseph exemplifies the true nature of a man laying down his life for his spouse and standing with her in her mission for God, sacrificing his own agenda for that of the Lord through his spouse.

Women by nature and practice are veterans in giving up their own dreams and desires for the sake of the call and work of their men. Ministers of God as well as other service-industry personnel, such as those in the medical field, transportation sector, police and defence services, all will bear witness to the fact of the unassuming back end support of their wives. However, when the shoe is on the other leg, not many are like Joseph, willingly being taken for granted and often ignored in his contribution to the work of God.

Blessed are you if you are a Joseph to a Mary and blessed are you if you are a Mary with such a Joseph.

I am blessed with a Joseph and thankful for his calm and content part in my life!

*Pic courtesy https://osjusa.org/st-joseph/art/st-joseph-worker-2/


In the Arctic areas, dog sleds have been traditionally in use for transportation, hauling supplies in areas inaccessible by other methods and in the explorations of the Arctics. Sled dog teams delivered mail to rural communities in Alaska and northern Canada and even today are being used by some rural communities, especially in areas of Alaska and Canada and throughout Greenland. They are also used for recreational purposes and racing events, such as the Iditarod Trail and the Yukon Quest.

The most critical part of the team, lead dogs set the pace and keep the other dogs on the trail. They are the dogs that respond to the musher’s commands of “gee” (right turn) and “haw” (left turn). Lead dogs must be alert and intelligent so they can find and follow the trail when it is covered over with snow. They do so through smell, sensing where other teams have passed, and feel, by feeling with their feet the packed trail beneath the loose snow covering. They also keep the other dogs in the team moving by pulling the gangline taut. Some dogs make better leaders in certain weather conditions but not others.

Being a leader rests not just on the ability to lead, but also on how well you can lead, especially in times of crises. Leader is one who leads by example and has the boldness to tell others, follow me. A leader by profession is different and distinct from one who is by instinct and by nature. The former does it for a season, for a time period, at certain places, because he/she has been given or placed in a position and for a compensation. The latter is a leader, wherever, whenever, always, irrespective of whether they are given or placed in a position and granted a wage or reward. Such a person will not abandon ship nor throw in the towel, but will rather forfeit their own benefits and prioritize the interest of the whole team. These are gems, stars that shine clear and bright, rare indeed is their kind!

Leaders, who lead just because they are one, don’t look for position nor vie for it, but do what they have to do just because of who they are. They lead on and by the authority of their nature or character, rather than by the power and authority of a position, or by rules and regulations or even a following. They are far removed from petty power struggles and fighting for their rights as they are secure in who they basically are and what they are destined to do. Such leadership, though normally intrinsic and inborn, can of course be learnt and acquired, if the basic principle involved here is understood. In such a kind of leading and mentoring, being (character, nature) supersedes demanding, talking, instructing, commanding or even doing. Here the power of leadership exists in the person and in who they are rather than what they do, by virtue of an endless life than of action. This is the secret behind the seeming reason for their security in the face of adversity or opposition or even rejection.

A leader of influence needs to understand the power of non-verbal impartation over verbal communication. A simple short movie done some years ago for a competition portrayed the progress of a yawn around a group of people. One person yawning set a series of yawns that traveled quite a distance around the area. Such is the power of example and existence! Impartation is a powerful aspect of leadership that is often neglected in favor of verbal use or abuse. If you want people to follow you even when you suggest the most outrageous risks and undertakings, learn to concentrate on growing and improving who you are, rather than what you do. Do not use camouflage or subterfuge to mask your inadequacies, but learn to be transparent and forthcoming. I often listen to Indra Nooyi, not because of her position, but more because I can see that what she says is who she is. She is not mouthing fancy words or clichés because she has to, but because she has practiced what she is articulating.

A leader cannot lead his/her people beyond who he/she is or what he can do and how far he has grown.  That’s why for your leadership to be sustainable or sustained, put efforts into improving who you are through some study or training and being mentored. Actually, a leader who is not being led cannot lead others, for he is not accountable, learning or improving. A true leader will seek counsel and advice to grow, consistently expand his/her horizons, continuously develop lateral skills and constantly supplement his/her own capabilities. Such person will always be a student so as to function effectively as teacher and leader. Life with or under such a person will be a roller-coaster of adventure as they are never static and set in their ways, but dynamic and ever self-actualizing in every instance.

I love that the Bible talks about Jesus, the greatest leader who led by example, as someone who ‘began to do and teach’. Any follower of this greatest teacher and rabbi of all times who led by example and see the impact as well as reach that He has had for and on generations, will not hesitate to emulate it.

Everything you say or do as a leader will be colored and coded by who you are. The context of your words will be the content of your life and the consequence of your being, rather than the cosmetic or costume of your appearance. Even though these latter do play a part in presentation, the completeness of your self will unconsciously compliment and complement as well as complete the core of your communication and determine as well as decide the success of it. If your being doesn’t back up your doing or your saying, people will accept you or your commands because they have to and not because they want to! By virtue of their position under you, they will honor you, but once out from under it, will despise or demean you. Such leadership doesn’t last or impact with dignity, but will have to be maintained through deceit, coercion and compulsion rather thriving on willing eager submission. Leadership then becomes a burden and a duty rather than an endless delight and a compelling mission.

Be a leader before demanding or commanding as a leader!

* Photo by James Padolsey on Unsplash and Photo by Jehyun Sung on Unsplash

*Information on dogsleds from https://iditarodoutsider.wordpress.com/tag/sled-dog-positions/ and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sled_dog