Parent Leadership – Do you have the needed and appropriate roles in your team?

Some time ago I wrote on parent leadership as new paradigm in leadership styles. I explored the differences between various leadership models, such as traditional, bureaucratic, charismatic, etc., and goals of each. You can read it in my post dated May 2020.

Recently, I have come to understand the two types of roles that make up parent leadership. Each of these roles is defined by its own responsibilities and its own spheres of action or influence. Neither can do without the other, and each must accept as well as understand the need of the other to function together well.

These roles are akin to those in family, viz., the parts played by a father and a mother, the normal parental roles that signify a family. A family is a team at home with common goals, aspirations, timelines and focus. There is an appropriate work culture and a rhythm of functioning that enables the family unit to progress and prosper. Both these roles are crucial and important for the nature and nurture of this basic unit of society. When families prosper, then communities prosper, society proliferates and the city/nation achieves incredible success.

Parent Partnership

Today, there is a trend and tenure in the workplace to consider your team as your family. Nancy Solari gives three reasons why it is a win-win to treat your team as family. Therefore, it is very relevant to know and understand how these roles play out in the workplace and how crucial it is to understand their importance.

The nuances of these roles are well laid out and articulated in and by the Bible. Their part in raising a family is best given in the words and sayings of King Solomon the Wise. The smartest, most brilliant and most knowledgeable man on earth wrote these words:

My son, comply with the commandment of your father, And do not ignore the teaching of your mother; Bind them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; When you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk to you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light; And rebukes for discipline are the way of life (Proverbs 6:20‭-‬23).

The two words, commandment associated with a father, and teaching associated with a mother, exemplify and qualify the full parenting roles.

Command and Teaching

A commandment is a command, a mandate, an order or injunction given by authority. It’s a charge or an authoritative precept, a behest that is laid down by one in command or a commander. Commandment is first associated with the Ten Commandments given by God to Moses on Mt Sinai, wherein He set them as the basic preamble for the set of laws which followed, laws that constituted Israel as a nation and branded them as His own special people. A father is meant to be the head of the family and the authority figure who guides the family. He is the one who sets in place certain mandates that will enable his household to be fruitful, achieve certain family goals, and be an impact on the community around. A family is the subset or building block of society, and for it to be a functional unity of the whole, it must be constituted to be in order, primarily by the father or the head of the home.

Teaching is defined as one of the instruments of education and is a special function to impart understanding and skill. The main function of teaching is to make learning effective, with the learning process getting completed as a result of the teaching. Thus, teaching and learning are very closely related, and H. C. Morrison says Teaching is an intimate contact between the more mature personality and a less mature one. Teaching is also considered to be a social and cultural process, planned and done to enable an individual to learn something in their life. Again, teaching is defined as an engagement with learners to enable their understanding and application of knowledge, concepts and processes. It includes design, content selection, delivery, assessment and reflection.

In the home, while the father lays down the law, it is the mother who takes it and causes it to be implemented or adhered to. She comes alongside, individually, providing interpretation and practical application of the mandate of the father, making it feasible and comprehensible to young minds. Since she is in sync and a deeper relationship with the father, she is able to provide context for his expectation, and breaks it down to day-to-day tasks, bearing in mind the overall intention of the father. She is his validator who makes his ideas into reality, communicating effectively his mind to the rest of the family. She is his co-head who ensures the well-being and goal of the family. She is closer and more sensitive to each and every member of the family, and can thus adapt and impart the common goal of the family according to the individual nuances of the different people who form the family.

The role of the mother is crucial and mandatory for translating instruction into practical application, and she is also the mediator who bridges the gap between the head and others. She enables relationship and communication, promotes harmony and unity, ensuring that the family moves forward to achieve its goals, smoothing troubled waters with her wise words and skillful conduct. This is why the Bible gives the injunction to the children not to despise her role, since it is usual for the family to honor the father and neglect the mother.

Team Dynamics

Now, how does this play out in a team at work or in an office scenario or in a corporate company or even in a church leadership team?

A team must have, not just a leader, but also a co-leader who is a validator of the leader. This person has a mother-like role, who works with and in unison with the leader to help achieve the desired outcome. The leader sets the target but it is the co-leader who nurtures the team to rise up to the occasion. The co-leader or the second-in-line is also a validator and authenticator of the leader. They help the leader and the team relate well, often acting as the mediator between the two, cultivating a healthy work environment. While the leader would be a visionary whose eyes are set on the goal, the co-leader is practical and down-to-earth, though they too are visionaries. The leader will tend to miss the nitty gritty things of reaching the goal since his or her eyes are set on the horizon. The co-leader’s eyes are also set on the end, but in addition, they are well aware.of the bumps and speedbreakers along the way. Thus, they work to help the team when they hit roadblocks and barriers to the desired outcome.

Just as a mother, person and role, is core and essential to the well-being of a family, a co-leader is of utmost importance to a team at work. They are crucial and critical to reach the set deadlines and targets, and therefore, must be recognized as such. They must be empowered by the leader with authority to deal with truant and slackers, honored before all and backed up as his or her righthand. The leader must spend time with his or her validator to share their thoughts as well as to appreciate their role in the team. The leader must prioritise this person, giving space to them to voice their concerns and give ear to them. The leader must cultivate a deep relationship with his or her co-leader, treat them with utmost respect, never belittle them, and trust their insight. The leader must not be so insecure as to compete with the co-leader, but give time to foster them, while they teach and instruct the team.

The leader can have more than one co-leader, but must not pit one against another. Rather, he or she must work to preserve unity among the co-leaders, favor all equally so as to ensure their security with him or her. The leader should be open and accountable to his co-leader (s) as well as give ear to their difficulties in dealing with the team. He or she must understand their concerns and provide solutions to issues they bring to him or her.

Co-leader Concerns

If you are a leader and don’t have validators and co-leaders, work to develop such, or you would either become a burnout or be stuck with one project only. Teach and train a few, pouring your acumen into them, and then appoint them to be your co-leaders.

In a chessboard or game, the Queen validates and protects the King as his second most important player. Even so, a co-leader is mandatory for your team!

To know how to choose validators and co-leaders, read my article entitled The Power of Having and Being A Validator

If you do raise and appoint co-leaders and validators, you will expand and grow in every way, exponentially!

Does your team or teams have leader and co-leader (s) who ensure success of your expectation? Check it out!

To know more about parent leadership paradigm, read my article: The Best Style of Leadership – the Parenting Paradigm

Do You Know What the Church is Meant to Be?

There is only one thing that Jesus said He will build in Matt 16 and that is the church.

Apostle Paul declares the church to be His bride and the purpose of it in the Book of Ephesians.

The apostle in letter to the church at Colossae points out that Christ is head of his body the church. So, you have another term associated with and related to the church.

God’s intent is that through the church His manifold wisdom would be made known to all.

Today, the term church is mostly used in connection with a building and a place. It is more often a tourist point than what it is meant to be.

It is time to take stock of, analyze and recover our identity.

To understand how the church can be an influence, read CHURCH A LANDMARK PRESENCE.

May we recover our identity and our security in know who we are and woekmtowards what we ought to be!

The Beauty Of A Second Chance

Life is full of second chances, when things come around a second time, giving an opportunity to change, rectify, reconcile and restore.

Nature itself is full of them, since day gives way to night and night to day. Each year and each season comes around, refreshing the earth and setting things in order.

Every year, month and day is a time to make good what we didn’t do earlier or were not given a chance to do so.

Every birthday, wedding anniversary, and death day is a time to celebrate, remember and be thankful for people, circumstances and opportunities. Work anniversaries and special dates help us mark time and look back, often with a sigh of relief that we have come thus far.

Sadly, many are not quick to grasp second chances and thus lose out on time to make good the lost.

It is important to not miss on second chances but be alert to them.

Second Chances provide new beginnings and give rest to the past, enabling closure of gone by events,

To know how to identify second chances, read my article:


After the glory of summer, Autumn brings with it the beauty of fall when leaves change color, a last hurrah of vividness before the monochromeness of winter.

This vision soon gives way to the bane of the season – falling leaves, a characteristic that gives its unique name. Allowed to rot away on paths, patios and decked areas, leaf matter can become unsightly – and potentially a slippery hazard.

Having to sweep the yard is often a tedious but necessary task for gardeners and home owners.


Note: Been waiting to write this for a long time. So, do click the link and read fully!

Pic courtesy Tenor

MY PATHEOS COLUMN is the premier online destination to engage in the global dialogue about religion and spirituality, and to explore and experience the world’s beliefs.

Patheos is the website of choice for the millions of people looking for credible and balanced information about religion.

Patheos brings together faith communities, academics, and the broader public into a single environment, and is the place where many people turn on a regular basis for insight, inspiration, and stimulating discussion.

I have begun a column in Patheos and my first article is about a common feature in Autumn – leaf fall!

My article is available at

Let’s celebrate one of nature’s regular features!

*Pic courtesy


Open fields flash by, green and brown,
Soft streams go trickling by, small and big.
Dusty roads leading to homes, distant and near,
Blue skies canopy with clouds, white and grey!

Wayside stations flash by in haste with yellow boards,
Farmers and workers go about their daily chores,
Highways whisk by with green and white signboards,
Cocooned in cool comfort, I watch, as grime seeps from my soul!

Bubbled in my seat, I traverse from one place to another,
Paused in my busy routine, I take time to lay hold.
Free from my gadgets, I watch the window scenes
I tryst with rest as I take in the vast gleam!

Between burdens, I rejoice in small things,
His gift I feel, for it restores my strength.
Communing with Him through His nature artwork,
I bow my head in worship, taking heart to face another day!

*Written on my travel back by train from visiting my mother in a city down south!


I thought marriage was autocracy,
He taught me it was democracy.
He gave me space and privacy,
While I maintained grace and mercy,
Together we worked to make it as it should be – a theocracy!

I thought it was manly to be demanding and aggressive,
He showed me it is to be accepting and non-competitve.
I was ready to buckle under and be beneath him,
He lifted me to stride beside and go beyond him.
Together we tread a new path – a totally different tack!

I thought devotion ought to be articulated and vocal,
He demonstrated it to be more life and living.
I tend to be stiff and shaky, covering my pain with a smiling face,
He is secure and stable, moving at his own sweet pace,
Together we carved a monument – a testimony to His saving grace!

Individually we walk, each in our call
Together we chalk, a family to His haul.
Different from each other, incompatible to the core,
United to be one, we were tempted often to walk out the door,
Together we have struggled and stuck, until we no longer want to be alone!

Marriages are made in heaven but lived on earth,
Therefore, not to be undertaken lightly or ill-advisedly.
Marriage is a way of life instituted by God, honored in His word,
So, embark on it, seriously and prayerfully, taking care as you pledge your word.
Marriages need not become a hell, if both work together with quiet will!

Marriage is not for the weak or for the meek,
It takes strength and stamina to run that race.
Marriage is not a sprint but a marathon to be run,
Don’t even think of it unless you grasp atleast the essence of it!

*Pic courtesy Google images


Little feet constantly tagging after me,
Little hands earnestly reaching out to me,
Little eyes intently watching me,
Little ears attentively hearing me!

A bundle of joy is a blessing in disguise,
Given for some days and years for us to care,
Make it not a sorrow to tear or a curse to bear,
Help it to bloom well with proper nature to share!

Little hands must work at a good skill
Little mouth must praise Him with a thrill
Little heart must enshrine Him with full will
Little mind must seek Him for ever to be still!

Invest your time fully in raising your little one
Distracted be not in earning a name or fickle fame
Regret it you will if you run after other things
Be a true steward of the treasure bestowed on you

By Sabina Tagore Immanuel
*Pic courtesy:


In every part of the world, in every culture, being dressed to suit the occasion is an accepted custom, an in-built trait and a common etiquette of even the most primitive tribes.

How we would dress to attend a wedding is different from dressing for a funeral. What we would wear for a party is not the same as what we would clothe ourselves for shopping or sightseeing. Hiking and trekking require special parnephelia that is not the same as when we swim or run or jog. Working at home means we must dress to enable chores such as cooking or washing or cleaning, while working from home, a recent development due to covid, needs other suitable attire. Business meetings and office space require appropriate appearance and outfits, not to mention sleep time which needs right clothes that would promote rest and repose.

Dress sense and fashion consciousness does not relate only to haute coutre designs but also to insight and acumen needed to know and note the occasion for which the apparel is being worn!

No one goes to visit the poor or does slum cleaning or other community work in their best clothes since it would hurt the cause and wound  the sensibilities of those we seek to serve. It is not good breeding to go to honor the dead in flashy clothes or gaudy show , but one must wear what fits the somber mood of the occasion and the sentiments of those around. We don’t go before a dignitary dressed in a way that would show disrespect to their persona nor attend a personal award function in rags. Again, no one dresses in wool in summer or thin cottons in winter, for that is foolishness to say the least!

Each and every season, occasion and focus demands suitable garments and appropriate or fitting apparel. So, fashion is stated as prevailing style (as in dress) during a particular time, custom, usage, or style as well as a form of self-expression and autonomy at a particular period and place and in a specific context, of clothing, footwear, lifestyle, accessories, makeup, hairstyle, and body posture. Being fashion conscious implies being able to match your tastes and interests to your personality and the occasion you dress for or being groomed for.

It is interesting to note that the Bible does talk about how one ought to dress and the manner to be suited for different occasions.

In the Old Testament, God instructed the people of Israel on different dress styles for the various people, according to gender, office, the task and the occasion.

The High Priest and other priests had definite robes and special garments made for use in ministering to God: “Have Aaron your brother brought to you from among the Israelites, along with his sons Nadab and Abihu, Eleazar and Ithamar, so they may serve me as priests. Make sacred garments for your brother Aaron to give him dignity and honor.” (Exo 28:1‭-‬2 NIV). They could not wear that would make them sweat as its smell was reminiscient of curse and therefore, repugnant to the Lord (Eze 44:18).

God also gave specific dress codes for men and women, as well as instructions on not to mix linen and wool, etc (Deut 22). He showed them what to wear to signify various expressions of solemnity such as repentance, sorrow and mourning (sackcloth and ashes). Teachers and other instructors of the law had a distinctive garment that made them conspicuous as to their vocation. Thus, God did indeed prescribe a particular fashion code for His people so as to distinguish them and set them apart as His particular followers from those around. I believe that His demands were also given keeping in mind for them to be in tune with the weather and their environment to preserve their health!

When you read the New Testament, the focus is more on the inward orientation and the clothing of the soul that is required as the followers of Christ. It was not enough to dress up the outward, but the inner being had to line up to the truth of what is being exhibited on the outer. Jesus very specifically condemned the Pharisees and Sadduccees, naming them white-washed sepulchers, for projecting a false picture of piety and sanctity, when in reality their inward was rotten.

The leaders and apostles of the early church, steadily and constantly taught the disciples of Christ the importance of being clothed with the right attitudes and intentions (Col 3:1-15). They also instructed on the right demeanor for each occasion and event. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep, says the Holy Book in Rom 12:15. In Jas 5:13-14 it says: Are you hurting? Pray. Do you feel great? Sing. Are you sick? Call the church leaders together to pray and anoint you with oil in the name of the Master.

Being well-dressed or clothed tastefully is not about just buying the best available or the costliest you can afford or the brand on display. It is about being a wholistic human being, in and out, the outer coinciding with the inner. The way to dress to impress is to clothe the outer to adorn and exemplify the inner orientation. Good nature enhances and amplifies the outward adornment causing an aroma of innate fashion to be felt and smelt!

*Pic courtesy and Shutterstock

This is part 4 of a series of articles relating to fashion sense and dress code. You can read part 3 using this link