SALVAGING OR DISPOSING, WHICH WILL IT BE?

An unbearable tooth pain followed by a dental consultation showed a root canal infection needing immediate attention. As the doctor dealt with it, quite severely in fact because of the extent of infection, I distracted myself by thinking of the process of saving and salvaging, the opposite of disposing and destroying!

Salvaging is a term related to ships and seas, with marine salvage being the process of recovering a ship and its cargo after a shipwreck or other maritime casualty. Salvage may encompass towing, re-floating a vessel, or effecting repairs to a ship. The first known salvage was in 219 BC, the Chinese Emperor Qin Shihuang (r. 221–210 BC) assembled an expedition consisting of a thousand people for the salvage of the Nine Tripod Cauldrons. The tripods were considered important artifacts, Chinese legends credit a Xia dynasty emperor with their construction. The tripods were lost in Sishui River in present-day Anhui Province. The salvage attempt was ultimately unsuccessful.

As a life coach, my goal is to help people adjust and adapt to the different circumstances that come their way, especially the stressful and difficult ones. I spend hours talking with them, keeping abreast of the my clients situations, since I am often their last or only resort and rescue, especially for those stuck in a pit of depression. Just being there for them, helping them to download and de-stress, creates a space in their mind and emotions, enabling them to have the time, will and effort to recover themselves. Most often dramatic or drastic actions that are detrimental to life are the result of a temporary blinding of eyes, a sudden surge of despair, a momentary lapse of equanimity, a spur-of-the-moment impulse and an unthinking jump off the ledge. Being aware that some cares enough to listen, someone to give some time is sufficient impetus for people to recover and reconcile, both with others and with their unchangeable circumstances.

With the passage of years, I see a downward trend, an increase in and a multiplication in the number of people succumbing to instability of mind and emotions. Of late, there seems to be a proliferation of negativity, a lack of mental stamina, a loss of emotional control and a tendency to give up too easily and too readily. The impulse to throw in the towel, throw up the arms in futility, the sinking into the darkness of depression is affecting almost all and across the spectrum of age and gender. Of these, the more vulnerable section seems to be the young, specifically children and teens for whom suicide has become the most extensive and popular outlet. It appears to be an easy way to blow off steam, with the added bonus of having taken revenge on those who love you but who unwittingly drove you to it. Or so they think!

The root cause of this seems to be an inclination towards I-need-it-all-now attitude, an urge towards I-want-to-experience-it-all-now outlook and a penchant for I-must-have-it-all-now demand. A denial, then, leads to a sullen sulkiness, a moody weariness and a damaging insecurity. There is a dearth of understanding and accepting that life doesn’t promise or guarantee many of the things you deem necessary or demand it as necessary.

The basic ingredients of nature, of existence and of the universe are entropy, probability and randomness. It is what make life so exciting and adventurous, that it is so unpredictable, ever changing and ever evolving! What then is the reason for such low adjustment factor and adaptability quotient that triggers defeat, especially in the young whose very youth gives them the handle and capacity to bounce back easily!

The trigger for such defeatist mentality lies in the socio-cultural impact of a society that is tuned to easy disposal. It is the effect and outcome of living in a world wherein disposal is mooted over salvaging. Gone are the days when everything was built with the intention of durability, reliability and longevity.

Today’s world is all about constant and continuous change, a fluidity that belies stability and sustainability. This has created and birthed an environment that promotes an unhealthy appetite for constant upgrade, an avaricious longing for continuous newness and an unsatiated thirst for competitive consumerism. There is a singular lack of sticking it out, trying to make the best of it, seeking to work it out and fighting the good fight of life, whatever be cause or cost.

Nowhere is the impact of this felt more than in the basic structure of society, its foundation and fabric viz., marriage and family. A lifestyle geared up to easy disposal and a mentality tuned to instant use-and-throw has not helped foster marital and familial relationships. It has, on the other hand, eroded the stamina needed to cultivate long term relationships. It has made people weak and weary, devoid of the strength needed to build and maintain all types of relationships. We have become scaredy cats, shying away from bonding, often opting for short term connections that grant instant gratification. We have forgotten the recurring returns and lasting rewards that come from investing for and in the future.

We have become passive and content to live in the moment and for the moment. We have forgotten that we are not animals made for instant gratification by instinct, but are eternal beings made in the image of God, created to be bolstered by mutual kinship. We have created a society that’s filled with divorce and heartbreak, a structure lacking the scaffolding of nurture and care, a place where the young and weak are vulnerable to exploitation and abuse. What in the world have we become!

I was born into a family where salvaging bikes and cars was a pasttime, hobby and creative outlet. Men in the family would choose to buy second-hand vehicles and restore them, before disposing them for a profit. What joy and pride I would see in their face when their task was dine. It was obvious that the price they paid was small in comparison to this sense of accomplishment!

I saw the same thing in my dentist who went the extra mile to salvage what remained of my tooth. It would have been easy for him to just pull it out, cleanse the area and go his way. Yet he chose to spend hours bent over my teeth, digging out the infection with a ruthlessness that was quiet daunting. It comforted me to note that he would not rest until I was totally free of any infection. He restored my faith in the medical profession and its practitioners.

How like the Lord, I thought to myself, who He came ‘not to condemn but to save’! How precious to know that He rejects no one, but seeks to rescue the lost! How soothing it is to know that He is all about saving and salvation, and not about disposing!

*Photos courtesy of unsplash.com and shutterstock.com

NO BARRIER

https://rochellewisofffields.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/j-hardy-boxing-gym.jpegMary, does your father know what you are doing?

No Nungshibee.

Why not? Surely he would be happy that you will be appearing in the State level competition!

No, he won’t. You know what is the goal of our parents!

You mean marriage? Yes, I do.

If my face gets damaged I won’t be good bride material. He will have to give big dowry!

Yeah. Why we can’t follow our dreams and ambitions.

They don’t want to be the ridicule of others who will condemn them for not getting us married.

Win the State title, Mary. Set us free please!

*In India a woman is expected to marry and settle down. The father of the bride has to shell out a lot of money for the wedding and other expenses. So the goal of many Indian parents is to just enough education to get a good proposal and then marry them off. This is the story of one of the most courageous women in India, who just didn’t overcome one odd but many odds to prove her mettle. She is an inspiration to many in India. She is Mary Kom Boxer See the source imageChungneijang Mary Kom Hmangte, better known as Mary Kom, is an Indian Olympic boxer hailing from the Kom tribe in Manipur. She is a five-time World Amateur Boxing champion, and the only woman boxer to have won a medal in each one of the six world championships. Nicknamed “Magnificent Mary”, she is the only Indian woman boxer to have qualified for the 2012 Summer Olympics, competing in the flyweight category and winning the bronze medal. She has also been ranked as No. 4 AIBA World Women’s Ranking Flyweight category. She became the first Indian woman boxer to get a Gold Medal in the Asian Games in 2014 in Incheon, South Korea. A biopic has been made on her.

See the source image

*Friday Fictioneers is talented group of enthusiasts penning down a story, a poem, a prose, etc., expressing their heart about a photo prompt, every week. Thanks for this week’s photo prompt ©J Hardy Carroll

 

I MARRIED YOU

Living together with another you can’t live without,
Butterflies in the stomach is not what it’s all about!
It’s not even about being treated like royalty,
For that’s such an unsustainable reality!

It’s not about looking good or pretty enough,
It’s not about fetch and carry or doing other stuff!
It’s not about agreeing or not fighting,
It’s all about of who you are thinking!

Love is not just an emotion or even a motivation,
Love is not just an option or even a reciprocation!
Love is actually the choice of going beyond oneself,
Love is being in the image of God Himself!

Love is what makes the world go round,
Loves is what keeps us coming again and around!
Love transforms the mundane and the normal,
Love moves the natural to the supernatural!

                                                                           © SABINA TAGORE IMMANUEL
*Photo courtesy Lotte Meijer on Unsplash

DITCH THE FIX

Don’t try to fix your spouse,
It doesn’t work that way.
You’ll only end up in a grouse,
However much you pray!

Don’t try to change your spouse,
It won’t happen whatever you say.
You will only end up in the doghouse,
If God cannot be your stay!

Don’t try to bully your spouse,
Whatever transpires in your day
You will end up smashing your house,
If you continue to be in the fray !

God didn’t make two as one,
For you to walk away.
He wants you to be like His Son,
Loving even when people go astray!

God unites man and woman in holy matrimony,
To reflect Him to the world in simple harmony.
Marriage is meant to be a romantic symphony,
We have made it to be a confused cacophony!

So rise up to build your home in godly dignity,
Don’t wait to see who will surrender in abject humility.
God has placed a treasure within your ability,
He will help you win in spite of human frailty!

© SABINA TAGORE IMMANUEL
*Photo courtesy http://139hzkajk0a3r37794bthki2.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/betterorworse.jpg

MARITAL & MARTIAL

The plains of marriage are littered,
With the dead and the dying,
What was meant to be a garden,
With beauty and blessing,
Today has become a field of battle,
Pitting against one another,
Two who were meant to be one!

The crops of the union have become
Poisonous hemlock and bitter gall,
The fruits of the fusion were designed to be
Sweet to taste and strength to life!
The real victims of this evolution
Often are the innocent and the endearing
Little ones who are a message from heaven!

Whatever happened, to passion and compassion
God in Your mercy, grant us to be human!

*Wrote this when I was burdened and sad about the increasing number marital breakups. Not judging anybody or anything, its the outpouring of my heart!

I chopped up my poem to fit the word limit. Here is the full version!

MARITAL & MARTIAL
The plains of marriage are littered,
With the dead and the dying,
What was meant to be a garden,
With beauty and blessing,
Today has become a field of battle,
Pitting against one another,
Two who were meant to be one!
The crops of the union have become
Poisonous hemlock and bitter gall,
The fruits of the fusion were designed to be
Sweet to taste and strength to life!
The real victims of this evolution
Often are the innocent and the endearing
Little ones who are a message from heaven!
Whither this change, so dramatic and drastic,
So damaging and destroying!
Wherefore this phase, so blatant and blase,
So blustery and blundering!
Whatever happened, to passion and compassion
To endearment and endurance!
God in Your mercy, grant us to be atleast human!

© Sabina Tagore Immanuel

*Friday Fictioneers is talented group of enthusiasts penning down a story, a poem, a prose, etc., expressing their heart about a photo prompt, every week. Thanks for this week’s beautiful photo prompt ©  J Hardy Carroll
                                                      

 

MARRIAGE MATTERS

Marriages are made in heaven is an English proverb probably derived from a French proverb from the early sixteenth century. This proverb states ‘les mariages se font au ciel’: ‘marriages are made in heaven‘. A more appropriate one would be ‘Marriages are made in heaven but lived on earth’. An even more realistic one would be ‘marriages are made in heaven but lived in hell‘!

The first implies a spiritual element to marriages in that, God is part of this institution and so is love. This aspect elevates the status of marriage as important and the stature of it as preeminent over all other relationships.

The second accepts that, though marriage has a ‘divine element to it’ and that ‘marriage goes beyond human love to include spiritual love as well“, it still needs human involvement, commitment, responsibility, nurture and forbearance to succeed. Marriage is hard work that needs consistency and a continuum more than anything else to make it work. It is prosaic, down-to-earth, practical day-to-day life, of night and day, light and dark, dawn and twilight, and therefore, it surely cannot be the indulgence of the fainthearted but the venture of the truly brave!

The third is relevant to these times and often the truth, for though marriage has divine and earthly elements in it, yet it indeed has a hellish part to it. 

Why hellish? Simply because the enemy of souls is out to destroy it. All the forces of evil muster themselves against it, for God instituted it, God honors it as above all else and God upholds it as the essence of His relationship with His people.

Why hellish? Simply because it seems to arouse all of our selfish nature within us. A pastor once said, ‘You want to serve God, be single. You want to be like Jesus, get married’! Marriage, more than any other relationship, seems to arouse and expose the worst in us since it is the closest, most intimate and most vulnerable relationship of all. It needs the help and nature of God to survive!

Why hellish? Simply because marriages are the backbone of society and  are its basic social unit. Hence, marriages are fraught with duties and burdens that tax it to the core. It is the homeground of training and rearing of next generation, the succour and shelter of the previous generation and the epitome and embodiment of the current generation!

Compounded with all this is the cultural confusion that exists in its definition today, compounded as it were by the tenets of feminism, male chauvinism, patristic domination, individualism, same-sex relationship and selfish ambition. All these have muddied the marriage milieu, muddled already by family, regional practices and traditions. In addition, the current social and work environments seem so unconducive to marriage per se. All in all, marriage scenario seems to be on the rock, needing special protection, provision and preservation.

Marriage is indeed a work of art, a thing of beauty and a joy forever. It has the challenge of mountain tops and the beauty of quiet valleys, the glories of sunrise and the depths of sunset, the exquisite joy of companionship and the tragic sadness of loss. It has its origin not in the heart, mind and plans of man, but of God Himself. He it is Who conceived it, contracted it & consecrated it. As such, inspite of its pitfalls, it still is worth its wait in time!